Pander Bare
?003 Roger E. Moore
(roger70129@aol.com)
Feedback (good, bad, indifferent, just want to bother me,
whatever) is appreciated. Please write to: roger70129@aol.com
Synopsis: Daria mulls a possible
career path as a nude exotic dancer.
Author抯
Notes: This
tale was inspired by a PPMB 揑ron Chef?contest started by Brother Grimace, who
asked for stories in which one or two 揇aria?characters followed one of their
other major interests in life, not the one most prominently displayed on the
show. A happy ending was also required.
Acknowledgements: Grateful thanks go out to Brother Grimace for the contest. Outpost Daria (http://www.outpost-daria.com/) had the text used below from 揑 Don抰.?o:p>
From
揇aria?Episode #204, 揑 Don抰?. . .
2nd
Bridesmaid: What do you do?
Daria:
I抦 an exotic dancer. You know, at a club. I take my clothes off and dance for
strange men.
3rd
Bridesmaid: Really? Wow.
Luhrman:
She抯 really very good.
1st
Bridesmaid: You抳e seen her?
*?*?*
牋牋牋牋牋?It started as a joke, of course,
with Daria telling the gullible bridesmaids at her cousin Erin抯 wedding that
she was an exotic nude dancer. Luhrman, Erin抯 cousin on her father抯 side,
played right along with it, complimenting her on her performances. Daria got a
nice kick out of the bridesmaids?reaction, but soon forgot about it.
牋牋牋牋牋?On the long drive home from Erin抯
wedding, however, a restless Daria gave it a little more thought.
牋牋牋牋牋?On the negative side, being an exotic dancer would reduce her future career choices to the lowest common denominator in human relations. It would destroy any chance she had for a normal life, and it would make her a high-profile target of public ridicule and condemnation. She would be sanctioned by every moral authority in existence, damned from pulpits and government offices, forever stamped with the lurid mark of infamy. And, every night that she worked, she would be surrounded by loud drunken leering men in dark smoky rooms that stank of alcohol and sweat, her ears filled with the screams of a wild mob begging her to show off her naked body for the wads of cash they threw on the stage at her feet.
牋牋牋牋牋?On the positive side, in addition to
all of the above, there were book, TV, and movie deals to think of, guest
appearances on Howard Stern and 揝ick, Sad World敆maybe both at once梐nd
truckloads of money that could be measured in metric tons. She could buy a
college degree, all the degrees she wanted, maybe even buy a college and name
it for herself. Jane would certainly appreciate the free pizza and art
supplies, and there would be no end of good stories for her writing career.
牋牋牋牋牋?Best of all, it would drive her
family insane.?No question about it.
牋牋牋牋牋?She smiled.
牋牋牋牋牋?And then she thought of Trent.
牋牋牋牋牋?Her smile faded. She shook her head
and sighed, her revere gone. She closed her eyes, and a few moments later, she
was asleep.
Original:
3/21/03
FINIS