ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE FUTURE
by Galen Hardesty
~*~
Left the town of Highland this morning with no regrets, looking forward to Lawndale with excitement and anticipation. Then I remembered my family was coming too?/P>
匭uinn had filled the car trunk and half the backseat with wardrobe overflow, so I had to ride in the moving van. The movers were pretty cool. They let me be the lookout when they stopped to run a quick errand in the warehouse district?/P>
匓y the time we pulled up,Quinn had already claimed the so-called "normal" room. I was left to inhabit the room that had belonged to the former owner抯 schizophrenic mother. It抯 extremely creepy, with padded walls and sawed-off bars on the windows? As usual, my sister has played right into my hands...*
First day of school. 匭uinn is already telling other students she抯 an only child. If anyone asks her about the 憌eird girl? she tells them I抦 the scullery maid抯 adopted niece?/P>
At Brittany抯 party, Quinn asked me if I didn抰 feel out of place there?and every place else on earth. When she first found out I was invited, she ran whining to Mom that I was ruining her life. Again. She makes me feel as welcome as a zit on prom night?FONT FACE="Garamond" SIZE=4>
Daria looked up from her book. "Mommy, is this the Daria I was named after?"
Her mother said, "Yes, dear, that抯 her. She was a great woman. Our world is a better place because of her."
"But wasn抰 she one of the radicals? The "cat food" faction? The ones who wanted to kill all the people with low IQs?"
"No, honey. She抯 often lumped in with that group, but Daria personally advocated sterilization for those with IQs below 80, and supervised reproduction up to 110."
If she didn抰 really want to kill 慹m, why is it always her name that gets mentioned?
"Probably because she could be really entertaining when she was lowrating stupid people. Daria Morgendorffer was one of the most respected and persuasive voices of the radical viewpoint, one of the so-called "Firebrands", whose writings had so much influence on the people who formed the Council of the New Order. She and a few others were credited with forcing the compromise that led to mandatory supervision for the learning challenged, and then to the Enlightenment. Some believe that the compromise was what Daria really wanted all along."
"But, Mom, it seems like it would have been better for us to have just taken over gradually. With our greater intelligence, we抎抳e wound up running things anyway, wouldn抰 we?"
"People have been thinking that ever since they first noticed that some people are smarter than others, but it just wasn抰 happening. Daria Morgendorffer saw that. You see, there抯 a certain personality type that tends to rise to the top in business and government, and these people know how to use people smarter than they are to put themselves in power and keep themselves there. The Enlightenment resulted in those with greater intelligence having greater influence over public affairs, rather than the most manipulative."
"Hmm. I never thought of that. You know, it抯 strange. When we studied Daria Morgendorffer in history class, she seemed like kind of a mean woman, but these entries from her diary I just read make her sound like a sad young girl who just wanted to get along, but everybody picked on her."
"Well, Daria honey, both of those are sort of true. Nobody is born mean. Daria Morgendorffer started out as a very smart little girl. Most accounts say that she was shy, but nice, and she stayed that way till high school or even college. But she was constantly picked on for being smart, especially by that sister of hers, and it gradually changed her view of her fellow human beings for the worse."
"Yeah, that awful Quinn! What was her dementia, anyway? I hate her!"
"Welcome to the club. Quinn Morgendorffer is probably one of the most unpopular figures in history. She抯 the reason the name Quinn is an insult, and the reason that no woman alive today is named Quinn."
"Well, good. It抯 an ugly name. Whatever happened to her?"
"After she flunked out of college, she worked as a beautician for a while. Then, after Daria抯 writings became well known, she became so unpopular she had to work in a mortuary. Eventually, she couldn抰 find work at all. Then came the Enlightenment, and she spent the rest of her days cleaning toilets in Governor Morgendorffer抯 mansion, and died of some nasty occupational disease."
"Eeeeww! Well, I guess it served her right. Why was she so ugly to Daria, anyway?"
"Psychologists are still debating that, but Daria herself said in several of her diary entries that Quinn felt she had to do it to stay popular. You see, hard as it is to believe now, all through her childhood and early adulthood, Quinn Morgendorffer was actually quite popular."
"And Governor Morgendorffer wasn抰 taking revenge on Quinn. Daria took her sister in when no one else would hire her at all, and cleaning toilets turned out to be about all she could do that didn抰 involve contact with the public. Oh, and don抰 say 慐eeww!?That was Quinn抯 favorite expression."
"Ee- I mean, yuck! Well, what about Daria? Did she ever become a mommy?"
"Daria was, uh, changed by the scorn and hostility she suffered in her formative years. She never married, never had a family. She had seventeen children, all by surrogates, but didn抰 raise any of them. She said she was afraid she couldn抰 be a loving, caring mother. She grew old and died with many admirers, but few real friends. But twenty-two members of the current World Congress are descended from Daria Morgendorffer."
"There are two main lessons you should learn from the story of Daria and Quinn, honey. The first is, what goes around, comes around. The second, more important one is about the doctrine of Unintended Consequences. It抯 hard to know when some action of yours may have some totally unintended result, sometimes a result that affects many many people, in a big way. Like Quinn never knew that, while she was treating her sister like dirt all those years, she was turning her into a radical anti-normal. who would one day be instrumental in bringing down the status quo and replacing it with a government of the most intelligent."
Quinn reached the end of the manuscript just as Helen entered the front door. "Oh, Mom, I抦 so glad you抮e home. I抳e just been reading this horrid... thing Daria wrote. I think she actually left it lying around for me to find, just to torment me! You抳e gotta read it to believe it! Then maybe you抣l believe me when I tell you that something needs to be done about her. She needs some professional help, or something."
Helen looked at the thin sheaf of papers Quinn was holding out to her, but made no move to take them. "Actually, Quinn, I think Daria left that for me to find. I found it and read it, and then I left it for you to find. Have you read it all?"
"I hate to admit it, but yeah, I did. It has sort of a horrid fascination to it."
And it抯 true that you抳e been treating her like that? That you抳e been telling all your friends that she抯 your cousin, or an orphan or something?
"Muh-O-om, I had to, 慶ause she抯 such a geek! If the kids at school found out Daria is my sister, my popularity would be ruined! Surely you can see that!"
Helen sighed deeply. "Quinn, you don抰 know how much I hoped you wouldn抰 say that. That you weren抰 really thinking that." She looked down and shook her head sadly. "You抮e right. Something needs to be done." She pointed to a plastic bucket containing scrub brushes, cleansers, and rubber gloves. "Take that and clean the toilets, all three of them. When you think they抮e clean, come and get me. When they抮e really clean, we抣l have a talk. First just you and I, and then we抣l include Daria."
Quinn was aghast. "Mom, you can抰 be serious! Just because Daria writes another one of her weird pain-and-anguish stories is no reason to ruin my whole day!"
The phone rang. Quinn called, "That抯 for me!" but Helen picked it up. "HellO-o! Morgendorffer residence! Hello, Taylor. Yes, Quinn is here. but she can抰 come to the phone. She抯 cleaning toilets. You can try back in a couple of days." She hung up the phone, to Quinn抯 horrified look.
"All right, Mom, all right! I抣l clean the freaking toilets! But would you please not say that on the phone? I have to get ready for a fashion club meeting, but I抣l do the toilets when I get back."
Helen抯 expression hardened. "Call Sandi and tell her you won抰 be attending that fashion club meeting, Quinn. I抣l have to take a close look at that little group. It may be that you need to find some different after-school activities. Then you get started on those toilets, and while you抮e at it, be thinking about what Daria wrote, and how you抳e been treating her, and about unintended consequences."
As Helen headed out the door to run a few errands, she almost tripped over Daria, sitting on the step, reading, her school bag beside her. "Daria. How long have you been out here?" she asked, a bit surprised.
"Just a few minutes. I didn抰 want to interrupt."
Helen smiled her small lopsided smile. "Come on. Ride with me to the store, and we can talk."
Daria replied with a small smile of her own, and followed her mother to her red SUV.
*Some diary entries at the beginning are from The Daria Diaries, by Anne D. Bernstein, copyright 1998 by MTV networks.