A Little Knowledge is a Dangerous Thing
by Kristen Bealer
Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane sat side-by-side in the school
library.?Jane stared out a nearby
window, sketchbook in hand, as she idly scratched out the occasional doodle or
caricature.?Daria, with several books on
folklore on the table in front of her, was taking careful notes and frowning.
揟his is pointless,?she complained in a whisper.?揑抳e probably read every urban legend ever told, but I still haven抰 found anything on what purpose they serve.?What do they do other than frighten the gullible??o:p>
揟hey抮e educational,?Jane whispered back.?揇o you know how many new stalking tips I抳e picked up by listening to you this past week??I抦 still trying to decide which celebrity to practice number thirty-seven on.?o:p>
Daria only shook
her head, opened another book, and turned her notebook to a new page.
The words 揃ut, baaabe,?invaded the silence of the library and caused Daria to press down too hard, breaking her pencil lead.?The voice whined, 揑 was just talking to her!?o:p>
揇o you think I抦 stupid?!?span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>?An even shriller voice caused the remaining lead to tear a small hole in the page.?揧ou were drooling all over her!?o:p>
揑 was hungry, babe!?She was holding a piece of pizza!?o:p>
揧eah, right.?That wasn抰 the only piece you were thinking about!?o:p>
Daria glanced
around the library.?The librarian picked a perfect time to go on break.?Fine. ?/span>I抣l handle this myself.?She slowly closed her notebook, stood up, and
walked over to the arguing couple.
揃rittany??Kevin??You two are pretty brave to be in here, aren抰 you??o:p>
They stared blankly
at her.?揥hat do you mean??Brittany
asked.
揟he ghost,?she
replied.
Kevin抯 eyes
widened.?揟ommy Sherman is here??he
exclaimed.?揥here??/span>
揘o, Kevin, the library ghost.?Haven抰 you ever heard about her??o:p>
More blank stares
answered her.
揑t began many years ago, with a girl who spent most of her time here in this very library.?o:p>
?span
class=SpellE>Aww, this is a story about a brain??span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'>?Kevin抯 attention span visibly began to fade.
Thinking quickly, Daria added, 揂 girl who wanted to be popular.?span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>?Seeing that she had their interest again, she continued.?揝he wanted to be just like the jocks and the cheerleaders and the other popular people, but she didn抰 know how.?So she spent all of her time in this library, trying to study popularity.?o:p>
揝tudy popularity??But how would studying make you more popular??o:p>
揥ell, Brittany, you know how strange brains are.?o:p>
揙h,
yeah.?/span>
揂nyway, the girl went from book to book, reading as many as she could in her quest.?She became smarter and smarter, and therefore the popular people spent even less time around her, making her even more unpopular than before.?o:p>
揟hat抯 so sad!?span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'>?Brittany froze in mid-hair twirl as her eyes
widened.
揧es.?Very sad.?So finally, an old librarian heard about her persistent?span
class=SpellE>er, I mean, not-giving-up梥earch and told her that there
was a special book that could unlock all of the secrets of popularity.
揟he girl asked the
librarian to let her see the book, but the librarian said that the book was too
dangerous to ever let anyone read.?She
told the girl that the book was cursed, and anyone who read it would have really
bad luck all their life.
揃ut the girl
didn抰 care.?She wanted to be popular more
than anything in the world.?So she
begged and pleaded for the librarian to let her read the book.?At last, the librarian brought the girl to a
dusty shelf in the library and pointed to a book just within reach.
揟he librarian
warned the girl one last time against reading the book, but the girl ignored
her.?She reached her hand way, way up,
and grabbed the book.?The librarian ran
away, afraid, as the girl opened the book and began to read.
揝he read every
single secret in the book.?She learned
how to make her hair bouncy, how to make her voice high and squeaky, and how to
push all the smart thoughts out of her head.?Thanks to that book, the girl knew that she would be the most popular
person in the whole world.
揃ut she should
have listened to the librarian.?Because the book was, in fact, cursed.?/span>
Kevin stared at
Daria.?揥hat happened to the girl??he
asked.
Daria didn抰 blink.?揥hen she tried to put the book back on the shelf a whole pile of books fell on her head and killed her.?Her ghost still lives here.?o:p>
揥ow,?Brittany
sighed.
Kevin laughed nervously.?揂w, that抯 silly.?I抳e never heard of this library being haunted!?o:p>
揥ell, the ghost doesn抰 haunt everyone.?She was so angry that she never got to be popular that she spends all of her time making bad things happen to the popular people who come in.?o:p>
揥hat kinds of
things??Brittany asked.
揇on抰 you remember
the first time you guys came into this library??Daria replied.
Kevin and Brittany gasped at the same time.?揟he roof!?/span> Kevin cried. ?/span>揑t fell on our heads!?o:p>
揟hat抯 right, Kevin.?But the roof didn抰 cave in until after I left.?She only wanted the roof to fall on you two.?o:p>
揃ut that means the ghost already got us!?Brittany squeaked.?揕ightning only strikes once and stuff, right??o:p>
揃abe, don抰 be
silly.?We抮e inside.?Lightning only hits stuff outside.?So we抮e safer inside!?span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'>?Kevin grinned at his spectacular command of
logic, but the grin disappeared as a shower of paperback books rained down on
him and Brittany.
揟he
ghost!?/span> Brittany
squealed.
Kevin was already
halfway to the door.
Daria watched the
pair flee the building, barely stopping to open the door. ?/span>She turned, and then smirked as she looked
through the book shelf that they had been standing in front of.?A pair of gray boots, standing on a ladder,
confirmed her suspicions.
揘ice touch,?she
said.
Jane stepped from behind the shelf.?揑 prefer stories that are interactive.?o:p>
The girls sat at the table once again, and Daria pulled a new pencil out of her book bag.?揥ell, that answers that question.?o:p>
揥hat抯 that??o:p>
揢rban legends do serve an important purpose, after all.?They make life a hell of a lot easier.?o:p>
Thanks to Ranger
Thorne, RLobinske, and Mr
Orange for beta reading.