Quality Time and a Half
The living room of the Morgendorffer house. Jake and Helen are sitting on the sofa. Helen is holding an envelope.
Quinn enters the room
Quinn
Hi Mom, Hi Dad.
Helen
Quinn honey, Could you come here a minute we want to talk with you.
Quinn
Okay but could you make it quick. I抦 expecting an important call.
Jake
This won抰 take long. We have some exciting news we want to share.
Helen
Calls out
Daria could you come here please?
Daria enters from the kitchen. She sees them looking at her.
Daria
What抯 wrong?
Helen
Nothing dear. Just sit down.
Daria sits in the chair next to Quinn.
Jake
Helen received a letter this morning from a Ms. Barch.
Daria
Ms. Barch wrote you a letter?
Jake
Not me just your mother.
Daria
What does she want?
Helen
Apparently next Wednesday is Lawndale High抯 揟ake Your Daughter to Work Day.?She thinks it would be great if you girls went to work with me that day.
Daria
Quinn and me? Together all day? Forget it. I抣l go to school.
Quinn
I抦 with Daria here.
Helen
Actually we thought it would be good if one of you went with Jake and the other went with me.
Daria
Assuming we choose to participate.
Helen
This time the choice isn抰 yours. You WILL be participating.
Daria and Quinn make glancing looks at each other. Then look back at Jake and Helen.
Quinn
Well then who抯 going with who?
Jake
We decided you would be coming with me and Daria can go with your mother.
Quinn
Sounds great to me.
Daria
Yea. Great.
Daria and Jane are at the Pizza King sharing a pizza.
Daria
I thought this stuff was just for 4th and 5th graders. When did it move to high school?
Jane
Ms. Barch forced Ms. Li into starting the program for the higher grades. In her words, 搃t抯 important to give young women every advantage possible in order to beat men at their own game.?/p>
Daria
Have you ever participated?
Jane
Last year. Mom needed help replacing some elements in her kiln so she kept me home. It was just a coincidence that it turned out to be the same day.
Daria
What are the odds? Are you going to do it this year?
Jane
Can't. Mom抯 at a ceramics intensive.
Daria
You could go with your dad.
Jane
No chance there. First he抎 have to have a real job plus he's still out of the country trying to visit Penny.
Daria
Any luck yet?
Jane
He has it narrowed it down to Honduras or Venezuela. He should only be a few more weeks.
Jodie walks up.
Jodie
Hi Daria, Hi Jane. What抯 going on?
Jane
We're just discussing the pros and cons of next Wednesday.
Jodie
Looking at Jane.
Are you gonna participate?
Jane
Nope. But Daria is.
Jodie
You!?
Daria
I have no choice. What about you. Are you going to work with your dad?
Jodie
I can抰. I don抰 meet Dad抯 requirements.
Daria
What do you mean?
Jodie
Bitter.
I'm not Evan.
At the next booth, Quinn and the rest of the Fashion Club are occupied with not eating the pizza they ordered.
Tiffany
So your parents are making you do this too? Bummer.
Sandi
Don抰 be so negative. Don抰 think of this a day with your parents. Look at it as an opportunity to research the world of business fashion.
Tiffany
Yea but you get to go to the TV station and Quinn gets to go to an office. I don抰 even know what my dad does.
Quinn
How about you Stacy? Are your parents taking you to work?
Stacy
Sobbing uncontrollably.
燦O!
She gets up and runs from the booth past the booth with Daria and Jane.
Jane
What抯 that all about?
Daria
Who cares, as long as she didn抰 stop here.
Back at the fashion club booth.
Tiffany
Shouldn抰 we go after her or something?
Sandi
She抣l get over it. Plus the meeting isn抰 over yet.
The kitchen in the Morgendorffer house. Daria is sitting at the table eating. Jake is also at the table reading the paper.
Helen walks in.
Helen
Well sweetie, are you ready for the day?
Daria
Ready as I could ever be.
Jake puts down the paper.
Jake
Where抯 Quinn?
Daria
Hiding under the bed?
Helen
Daria!
Helen's cell phone rings. She answers it.
Hello? Oh Hi Eric. I'm leaving in just a moment. What do you need? Yes I have the file right here. The deposition should go smoothly provided...
Helen leaves the kitchen.
Jake
Better finish up kiddo. Looks like your mother is almost ready to leave.
Calls out
燪uinn!
Quinn enters the kitchen. She is wearing a business suit much like what Helen wears only the skirt is shorter and the jacket and skirt are a little tighter.
Quinn
Right here dad.
Daria
What is that?
Quinn
Daria you may not care what other people think about what you wear but I want people to see I抦 dressed for success.
Daria
Seeing you in that suit confirms you have the suck part down pat.
Jake
Nervous and upset.
Daria! Quinn looks great.
Quinn
Thanks Dad.
Jake
Daria you should be more excited about this day. I would have loved to have gone to work with my dad when I was a kid. He always said I wouldn抰 understand the job. What I didn't understand is what was so important in his life that he had to send his son off to be raised by sadists at some military school. All I wanted was to be like him and he wanted nothing to do with me, the selfish old...
Quinn
Easy dad. Easy. Are we ready to go?
Jake
Sorry. We抣l go in a second. Just let me get my briefcase.
Jake leaves the kitchen.
Daria
You seem really excited about this day. May I ask why?
Quinn
Don't you realize Mom and Dad are giving us an excused day from school?
Daria
Yea and the only price is ten hours with them. On a weekday. What's the real reason?
Quinn
If you must know. I snuck a peek at Dad抯 day planner. He has a morning meeting with Essanse.
Daria
The supermodel?
Quinn
Duh. Is there any one else with that name.
Daria
Probably. What抯 she doing in Lawndale? And more importantly what抯 she doing meeting with Dad?
Quinn
According to his note she抯 starting her own cosmetics line. I can抰 pass up an opportunity to meet a model this famous.
Daria
And hey, If you create the right impression maybe she抣l shower you with cosmetics and hire you to be in her campaign.
Quinn
Ha ha Daria. She抯 selling makeup Daria. Not running for governor. And who抯 to say there won抰 be any samples. At least I can have a picture made with her to rub Sandi抯 nose in.
Daria
Well you know what they say about the best-laid plans of mice and men.
Quinn
No! I don抰 have to read that till next year.
Daria
My mistake. Have a GREAT day.
Jake and Helen return.
Jake
Well Quinn. Let抯 go. Bye Helen. Have a great day Kiddo.
Quinn
Okay Dad. Bye Mom
Helen
Bye dear. Daria we really should get going as well.
Jake and Quinn are in his car.
Quinn
So what抯 first dad? Breakfast meeting? Perhaps a conference with a big client?
Jake
Well. I was supposed to meet with a cosmetics company representative but that meeting was postponed until next Friday. We抮e going to meet some men to discuss a new proposal. Sort of last minute but they are good clients. You should find it interesting.
Quinn
WHAT!
Helen抯 car.
Helen
Sweetie you don抰 know how much I抳e looked forward to this day. It will be nice to spend some time together.
Daria
We spend time together.
Helen
Not outside the house. This should be a great day.
Daria
Yea great.
Helen
And who knows this might actually motivate you to get more direction in your life.
Daria
In a hushed voice.
Or motivate me to file for emancipation.
Jake抯 office.
Jake
Well dear we抮e almost ready for our meeting. Excited?
Quinn
Yea. Thrilled. What抯 this meeting about. Spatulas or something?
Jake
No. Nothing like that. We抮e meeting with representatives of the Brenda catalog. They抮e gearing up to market a new line of jeans. We抮e going to have a session to review their new line and decide the best way to introduce them.
Quinn
WOW! This is even better than the cosmetics meeting. I love the Brenda catalog and as a member of the Fashion Club I can provide the other members with advance information. This will really put Sandi in her place.
Jake
Sorry but you can抰 say anything about this for a while. These meetings are kept in extreme confidence until the official introduction. You can抰 talk about this until the client is ready.
Quinn
Okay fine. At least I can let them know my ideas. This is the ideal chance to put my position as vice-president to good use.
Jake
Uh Quinn. You can抰 do that either. These are very important men with years of experience in the fashion business. They want advice from people who, um, have a little more of a marketing background.
Quinn
Well what am I supposed to do? Sit on my hands and merely observe?
Jake
That抯 an excellent plan. Let抯 go with that.
Quinn
Whatever.
Helen抯 office.
Daria
So what抯 the schedule?
Helen
Well first we have the Frost Hamburgers deposition. After that I have to dictate some briefs. Then I thought we could have some lunch and discuss the afternoon schedule.
Daria
A thrill packed day if there ever was one.
Marianne enters.
Marianne
Helen. They抮e ready to start.
Helen
Marianne, you remember my daughter Daria. You met at the company picnic.
Marianne
Daria! It抯 so nice to see you again. Your mother has been looking forward to this day all week.
Daria
Yea. Me too.
Helen
Okay let抯 go.
They walk down a hallway and stop at a door. There are several people waiting outside.
Helen
Is everyone here? Good. Let抯 get started.
Another Lawyer
Helen could we talk for a second?
They go off to the side. There is mumbling. Only Helen抯 comments can be heard clearly.
She抯 my daughter...
It抯 for school...
This is supposed to be an educational experience...
Well if there is no option...
Helen goes over to Daria.
Helen
Sweetie. I have some bad news.
Daria
I抳e got to come back tomorrow?
Helen
No. The client doesn抰 want you in the room during the deposition. He said it would make him nervous.
Daria
The eight other people there don抰 make him nervous?
Helen
It抯 his choice. If you can wait in my office we shouldn抰 be too long. Then we can spend the rest of the day together.
Daria
Sighs.
Fine. I抣l find something to occupy my time until you return.
Helen
That抯 great. We抣l just be a little while. I promise.
Back at Jake抯, there are several men (five or six) in a conference room. Jake and Quinn enter. Quinn is standing with her arms crossed and frowning.
Jake
Gentlemen. Nice to see you. This is my daughter Quinn. She抯 with me today as part of a school project. She抯 just going to observe. I hope you don抰 mind.
Men
All talking at the same time.
Sure...
No problem...
Fine with me...
I have a daughter too...
Okay...
Jake
Great. Let抯 start. Jim. I understand you have a new line of jeans you want to show us.
Jim stands up next to a tall item covered with a sheet.
Jim
Yes. We have a new approach to the girls jeans market. To put it mildly we feel this is going to revolutionize the fashion world and really but the Brenda Catalog on the map.
Murmurs of agreement from the clients.
Quinn抯 interest perks up. You can see her excitement build.
Jim
Introducing the Brenda Country Girl line.
He pulls off the sheet to show a pair of jeans on a mannequin.
The first girl抯 jeans made entirely of burlap.
Quinn抯 face immediately goes from excitement to horror.
Back at Helen抯 office. Daria is sitting in Helen抯 desk chair with her back to the door.
Helen enters.
Helen
Daria?
Daria turns around out in the chair. She is reading a book.
Daria
So the deposition抯 over. And just in time to get something to eat.
Helen
Sorry honey. Things have gotten a little complicated. The deposition is still in progress. We just stopped for a short break. We shouldn抰 be too much longer and then we抣l have lunch.
Daria
Don't hurry on my account. Remember, 揂 job half done is never done right.?/p>
Helen
Amazed.
You抳e been reading my 揝ucceed or Die?inspirational desk calendar!
Daria
It抯 kind of hard to miss. The illustrations are pretty graphic. Anyway go ahead and finish up. There抯 plenty of day left.
Helen
Thanks for understanding dear. You抮e a great kid.
Helen turns and leaves.
Daria
I抣l be here when you get back.
Back at Jake抯 meeting Jake is standing in front of the group with several charts and pictures. During this entire scene Quinn is quietly freaking out.
Jake
You抳e maintained a low profile until now but to introduce these it would be a good idea to run several spots on various cable channels. If you include your 1-800 number you should not only be able to move this line but should significantly increase your subscription base. Until now word of mouth has been fine but you need to be more pubic now.
Executive
That sounds great but what do you think about the jeans? Do you think they will sell? That's what we want to know. What抯 your honest opinion?
Jake
The idea has merit. I抦 sure the kids will go crazy over it. Anyway it doesn抰 matter. Even if the jeans fail you know as well as I do that the majority of people never return anything to catalog sellers. Especially teenage girls.
Another Executive
But what about the jeans? What does your daughter think?
Quinn perks up immediately.
Tight shot of Jake.
Jake
I don抰 know if that is a good idea. After all she doesn抰 know much about marketing.
Pull out to show Quinn standing next to Jake.
Quinn
Nonsense Dad. I can really help. AS vice-president of the Lawndale High Fashion Club I have to say that your jeans are...
In the hallway at the law firm. Daria is leaving the ladies room. She walks past an open door with a man sitting behind a desk. The man sees her and walks into the hallway. It turns out to be Eric.
Eric
Excuse me young lady.
Daria turns around to face him.
Daria
Yes?
Eric
Are you lost?
Daria
Excuse me?
Eric
This firm usually doesn抰 have people as young as you running around unattended. Are your parents clients?
Daria
I抦 just going to my mother抯 office to wait for her.
Eric
Your mother works here? Who is she?
Daria
Helen Morgendorffer.
Eric
Helen? Are you Daria?
Daria
Yes. And you are?
Eric
Eric. I抦 an associate of your mothers. It抯 nice to meet you. You mother speaks about you quite often.
Daria
She does?
Eric
Yes she does. She抯 very proud of how well you do in school.
Daria
Yea well.
Eric
As a matter of fact, you would be perfect for our summer internship program. What grade are you in?
Daria
I抦 a sophomore.
Eric
That's great. You would get excellent experience. And it would look great when you apply to college. It wouldn't be a problem. I'm in charge of the program.
Daria
Thanks but it would interfere with my hectic social schedule.
Eric
Oh. I understand. The joys of youth. Well if you change your mind just tell your mother. She can let me know.
Daria
I抣l do that. It was nice meeting you. If you don抰 mind I抎 like to go back to her office now.
Eric
Sure. It was nice meeting you too.
Daria walks out of the shot.
Eric
Hectic social schedule? I thought that was her other daughter. Hmm.
Daria is still in Helen抯 office. It turns out Helen has a television in her office and Daria is putting it to good use watching 揝ick Sad World.?As Helen and Marianne enter, Daria shuts the TV off.
Helen
I抦 so sorry the deposition ran so long. I know it抯 late but do you still want to get something to eat?
Daria
I went to the cafeteria about two hours ago and got something but it is nice of you to remember.
Helen
I抣l admit this day hasn抰 gone exactly as planned but maybe now we can finally do something together.
The intercom buzzes. Marianne picks up the phone.
Marianne
Hello?
I抣l tell her.
Helen. It抯 Eric. He needs you to bring him the Willis vs. Sisson file. He says there has been a major change in the strategy and he needs to meet with you immediately.
Helen
Sighs.
Alright. Sorry sweetheart but I have to attend this meeting. I WILL try to be quick.
Daria
Take all the time you need. I抦 not going anywhere. You have the car keys.
Helen
I really am sorry. I抣l be back shortly.
Helen and Marianne leave.
In a hushed voice.
This day really hasn抰 gone like I抎 hoped.
At Lawndale High. In Ms. Barch's class there are the major male characters (Kevin, Mack, and Upchuck) along with a few other male students. Jodie, Brittany, and Jane are the only girls there.
Ms. Barch
Well I see we have a few young ladies who either chose not to participate in this great opportunity or weren抰 allowed. For you the day won't be a total loss. If you could go to the auditorium there will be a special video presentation about women in the workplace sponsored by the Lawndale Business Women抯 Association. Jodie, Jane, Brittany. You may be excused.
All three leave the classroom. Kevin raises his hand.
Kevin
Um. Ms. Barch? May I be excused also?
Ms. Barch
Kevin. Put your scrawny arm down and be quiet. Now boys I have a special lab assignment just for you. Get out the ammonia and bleach.
Ms. Barch puts on a respirator.
Back at Jake抯 meeting Quinn is still unloading on the jeans people. Her focus has gone away from burlap pants to their other products. Jake is now in the corner with his head in his hands. The executives are all looking tired and uneasy.
Tight shot of Quinn.
Quinn
And I still haven抰 been able to get the wrinkles out of that red velvet top. Then there is the matter of the Pleather skirt that the zipper broke on the third time I wore it. If it was going to do that why wasn抰 it...?
Pull out to show Jake. He puts his hand on Quinn's shoulder.
Jake
Quinn honey. We抳e been here through lunch. I抦 sure everyone here could use a short break. Gentlemen?
Executives
Yes.
I抎 like that.
I could use some fresh air.
Quinn
Fine dad. That抣l give me some time to gather my thoughts. For when everyone comes back I mean.
Jake
I tell you what. Why don抰 you help me out by doing some field research?
Quinn
What do you mean?
Jake
I'll continue the meeting. You can go to Cashmans to check out what's there to make your points. Pick up a few examples of jeans you like. Then you can give me a report tonight.
Quinn
Really? You抮e sure you don抰 need me for the rest of the meeting?
Jake
Positive! Here take my card. I抣l get a cab to take you there. I抣l have another bring you back here before it抯 time to go home.
Quinn
Thanks dad. This day has been very educational. I抳e learned a lot.
Walking away and muttering quietly.
Me too. I don抰 know how I抣l fix this.
At Lawndale High. Daria and Jane are standing in front of Daria抯 locker.
Jane
So Helen was gone the entire day and you spent all the time alone in her office. Guess it was pretty boring.
Daria
Not really. Marianne forgot to lock the filing cabinet holding all of Mom抯 cases. I spent most of the time catching up on local events.
Jane
You read her private files!? Cool! Anything juicy?
Daria
More than you could possibly imagine. Good stuff. It could really pay off some day. How did school go?
Jane
Nothing major. Ms. Barch just tear-gassed all the boys in her lab. Other than that it was pretty quiet.
Quinn and the rest of the Fashion Club walk past Daria and Jane. They are all wearing brown pants and moving in a stiff-legged fashion.
Stacy
These things are too itchy.
Tiffany
Oh yea. I抦 in agony.
Sandi
Ladies. We抮e the Fashion Club. We have to be examples to the rest of the school. Even if it means we sometimes have to suffer.
Tiffany
But does it have to be all day?
They pass out of the shot.
Jane
What抯 that all about?
Daria
Quinn almost lost a big client of Dads. He smoothed everything out by hiring the fashion club to wear their new line of burlap jeans until they give him a positive report he can present to the clients.
Jane
So he抯 buying them off. What a shock.
Daria
Yea. Even I got something out of it.
Jane
He hired you too?
Daria
No. But I did get to watch her walk to school this morning. Some things are priceless.
The End.
As usual, Daria belongs to MTV. This was written for my own amusement.