Unto the End
?005 The Angst Guy (theangstguy@yahoo.com)
Daria and associated characters are ?005 MTV Networks
Feedback (good, bad, indifferent, just want to bother me, whatever) is appreciated. Please write to: theangstguy@yahoo.com
Synopsis: A church-based debate on the War in Iraq gets out of control梩hanks to the person least likely to cause such a problem.
Author's Notes: Ioxmo posted an Iron Chef challenge on PPMB in September 2005, about Daria characters in a war. This was my contribution, based on extensive readings on the subject at hand.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Ioxmo for the idea.
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牋牋牋牋牋?揟he point I抦 trying to make,?she continued nervously, shifting from one foot to the other as she heard the angry murmurs in the audience grow louder, 搃s that when Jesus drove the moneychangers from the temple, he wasn抰 saying, 慔ey, it抯 okay to fight a war! Just watch how I do it!?I mean, right, he chased out the moneychangers, but he only used a little whiplike thingie he made out of cords to do it. It was like he was hitting them with string梟ot a ball of string, just a wad of string, okay? He wasn抰 using guns or bombs or anything, and nobody got killed or maimed or even broke a nail as far as I know, they just got chased out of the temple, and that was it. It wasn抰 like he was fighting a war, because he wasn抰.?/p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Her face betrayed anxiety. 揑 can tell that what I抦 saying is kind of upsetting some of you, but the story抯 in the Bible right here in front of me, and I抳e got one of those Bibles that prints everything Jesus said in red so you won抰 get it wrong, unless you read it in dim light or you don抰 have your glasses on or something, but anyway棓
牋牋牋牋牋?揥ill the debater stick with the subject of her rebuttal, please??said the weary minister at the moderators?table. 揧ou don抰 have much time left.?/p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揙h, right! Sorry! Oh, and the part where my opponent Joey says Jesus says that war is okay because the Gospel of Matthew says that Jesus says棓 She paused to peer at the open Bible on the lectern in front of her, a fingertip placed by the passage in question 摋慣hink not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword,?that part is like, um, me-ta-phor-i-cal, okay. It抯 like a parable. Jesus wasn抰 saying he was bringing war. He was saying, 慞eople are going to disagree a lot about my message, and it抯 going to cause problems in families and between friends and everything,?which is kind of like what抯 happening here in our church auditorium, isn抰 it? I抦 still on topic, right? Okay, cool! So, what Jesus said wasn抰 about war or swords at all, it抯 about . . . it抯 about what I said it was about! Disagreements, right!
牋牋牋牋牋?揂nd all that stuff Joey talked about in the Old Testament where God told the Israelites to kill all these people and kill all those people and so on and so on, that was like way back then, and Jesus is now, okay? We can抰 go around saying, 慔ey, God told us to go kill a long time ago, so we can still do it, right??Because the answer to that is like, 慏uh! Jesus said, No!?We can抰 really know if a war is moral and just, just because our leaders said so, because they might be wrong! Presidents are human, aren抰 they? I mean, ask my mom about Clinton or my dad about Bush, right? How do you really know who抯 right? Maybe they抮e both right because they抮e my parents, and I抦 not saying either of them is wrong, because they抮e my parents, but I mean, here we are debating, 慦hat Would Jesus Do About the War in Iraq??and a lot of people say we抳e been lied to about the war梑ut you know what? I don抰 think it matters if we were lied to about the war or if we were told the truth, because Jesus said, 態(tài)lessed are the peacemakers,?and that抯 kinda pretty clear, right? He didn抰 want war! Oh, and I have to add that when I was talking about the Old Testament being way back then and not like now, I wasn抰 putting down the Old Testament or anything, because my friend Tiffany is Jewish and the Old Testament is like her parents?whole Bible or Torah and everything, and that抯 okay if she and I don抰 agree on what抯 the Bible because she抯 a really sweet person and棓
牋牋牋牋牋?揟he debater is wandering again,?grumbled the minister. 揚lease棓
牋牋牋牋牋?揙h! Sorry! What I抦 really trying to say is that Jesus said, 態(tài)lessed are the peacemakers,?because they抮e the good guys, they don抰 hurt anyone, and people who go out and bomb each other, they抮e not the good guys梬ell, they抮e not! I know that made some of you mad, but Jesus said it! He did! I抦 looking at it right here where he said it! And Jesus also said in that Sermon on the Mount thing that the meek would inherit the earth, not the un-meek people, and I抳e tried all my life to be meek like Jesus wanted us to be, I really have, and it抯 mostly worked out although the one time I decided not to be nice and meek, I got super mad and used black magic to cause someone to lose her voice for a whole month, and can you believe it, it worked, I mean it was just aweso桰 mean, awful, it was so seriously wicked a thing to do, so I confessed my sin and repented and did my best to fix things although I made another friend of mine sick with the magic antidote by mistake, but桰 know, I know, I抦 wandering again!
牋牋牋牋牋?揝o, Jesus said the meek would inherit, not the strong, and people who are persecuted are the blessed ones, not the ones running around doing the persecuting, and he even said it was not only wrong to kill, but it was wrong to get angry and people who did that were in danger of judgment, and that still makes me nervous because of the black magic thing, but it goes beyond that, do you see? I mean, if I was to call somebody a fool桰抦 not, it抯 just an example, so I抦 really not calling anybody a fool, not even Joey, who promised me on our date last Friday he wasn抰 going to debate me about this today but he抯 doing it anyway, but you know, that抯 okay really, I don抰 mind. Even Joey抯 not a fool, because if I called him a fool, Jesus said I抎 be in danger of hell fire! I can say that word, right? It抯 okay because it抯 in the Bible, right? I don抰 usually say that because梠h, okay! Sorry! Um梠h, and Joey also made the point that Jesus asked his disciples to go out and get some swords in the book of Luke, okay? But Jesus wasn抰 telling his disciples to all buy swords and shields and spears and stuff. He wasn抰 telling them, 慪ou guys need to look more like Rambo,?you know, because that wasn抰 what he wanted, right? So, why should we do it if they didn抰??/p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Angry shouts echoed from the audience. 揑抦 not being disrespectful!?she cried out. 揌e didn抰 want Rambo disciples! I don抰 know why Jesus asked his disciples to get swords, because they came up with only two swords, and he said棓 Another pause while she glanced at her Bible 摋he said, 慖t is enough,?and he wouldn抰 say that if he meant for them all to have swords, right? He didn抰 say, 慔ey, two isn抰 enough, go back to the sword store and get more swords!?He didn抰 say that!
牋牋牋牋牋?揝o, what was the point of having swords? Well, Jesus knew about the future, because he said a lot about the future that came true, right? So, maybe he knew there had to be two swords around for the future to happen the way it was meant to come out. I mean, just after he said two swords were enough, Peter got all upset with a high priest or a Roman soldier or somebody and he cut off the other guy抯 ear with a sword梕ww, I mean, that was so gross梑ut then Jesus healed the hurt guy and made it all better, so there had to be a sword there, right? And maybe the other sword was held by the disciple who said棓 A momentary glance at the Bible 摋慙ord, shall we smite with the sword??right before all the smiting started? Maybe he was teaching them a lesson not to fight in wars! I mean, if Jesus wanted everyone to have swords because he wanted to have a war, then all twelve disciples would have to get them, except maybe Judas of course, and if Jesus said two swords were enough for all of them, then he wasn抰 talking about everybody having the right to own a sword, or having the right to fight a war and kill anyone!?/p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揗iss,?interrupted the minister, eyeing members of the audience making their way toward the exits as the hostile buzz grew louder. 揧ou抮e almost out of棓
牋牋牋牋牋?揂nd another thing: When Joey said, 慦hat about if someone was trying to rape you? Wouldn抰 you want to stab him or shoot him or something??And my answer to that is, 慛o!?I might try to run away, because Jesus didn抰 say I couldn抰, or I might hide, or I might pretend I have herpes or something棓 She gasped 摋I抦 sorry I said 慼erpes?in a church, but please listen! I mean, would I want to kill that guy? No! If the guy was trying to rape one of my friends, I mean, I抎 do everything I could to stop it, but no, I wouldn抰 try to kill him or hurt him! That抯 wrong! Well, it is wrong! I might trick him or run off or give him some money to go away or hide under the bed or make myself throw up or do something, but no, I wouldn抰 kill or hurt anyone, because Jesus said not to do it! I love my friends, I have the three best friends in the whole world, and if Quinn or Sandi or Tiffany were in danger, I抎 help them as best I could without hurting anyone, because棓
牋牋牋牋牋?揗iss!?called the minister. 揟he time! You抮e out of棓
牋牋牋牋牋?摋because Jesus said that all who draw the sword will die by the sword!?she cried, her voice gaining strength. 揂nd even if he was speaking in parables or whatever, he still meant: don抰 fight! Jesus said we had to be harmless as doves, and whatever else that meant, he still meant, don抰 fight! Jesus said if someone smacks you on the cheek, turn and let him hit you on the other cheek?i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>pow! Even if a girl smacks you or insults you or tells you that you aren抰 fashionable enough to be in her fashion club but she lets you join anyway because she can抰 find anyone else to join and she says you might be salvageable梚t抯 okay! It doesn抰 matter if you let her pick on you a little because she抯 not really hurting you, is she? It抯 all just words. Even if you get tired of it eventually and take a sabbatical from the Fashion Club and it falls apart, you and she are still best friends and will be forever, and if she still picks on you once in a while, it抯 because she can抰 help it, it抯 just the way she is, so forget about it, all right? It抯 okay! Jesus said it was okay! Because all this stuff we think is so important, all this stuff about money and taxes and status and cars and war and even fashion, it抯 all a bunch of crap! It is! It抯 a bunch of crap, and I抦 not sorry I said that at all, because棓
牋牋牋牋牋?揙rder!?shouted the minister, striving to be heard above the enraged voices of the audience. 揑 will have order here!?/p>
牋牋牋牋牋?摋because the things of this earth belong to this earth and not to what Jesus was all about! Remember what he said??flip flip 搼Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar抯, and unto God the things that are God抯.?What抯 more important to you, the things of this world, or the things that are God抯? Jesus said, 慚y kingdom is not of this world; otherwise, my servants would fight.?All of his disciples could have been ninjas or Marines or whatever, but they weren抰, none of them were! Jesus specifically told us棓 flip flip flip 摋to 憆esist not evil,?right from the mountain! And he said棓
牋牋牋牋牋?揥ill the speaker please棓
牋牋牋牋牋?摋慙ay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth挆?flip 摋態(tài)ut lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven!?And when someone says, 慍hristians are all full of hooey when they talk about war because they抮e so amphib梐mbli梑ecause they don抰 know if it抯 good or bad,?then you tell them, 慛o man can serve two masters!?which is what Jesus said right here on this page! Jesus was opposed to war and fighting and hurting people, he抎 be opposed to invading Iraq and Afghanistan and everyplace else, and he would be even if we found atom bombs there, because Christians are opposed to war, I don抰 care what anyone else but Jesus said about it, we抮e called Christians because we follow Jesus Christ and not Saint Paul or Caesar or some monk from the Middle Ages whose name I can抰 remember or whoever, we serve Jesus Christ, by golly, so we抮e Christians and we bless them that curse us, we do good to them that hate us, we pray for them who despise us, and that抯 the way it is, Nine-Eleven or not! You got that??/p>
牋牋牋牋牋?She pounded the lectern抯 top with her fist, shouting above the chaos. 揤engeance is not yours! 慥engeance is mine!?saith the Lord! Blessed be the name of the Lord! It doesn抰 matter what those bastards do to us! We抮e Christians, and Christ said, 慔e that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved!?We抮e saved through peace! The angels sang, 慓lory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men?when Jesus was born, and the first thing Jesus said when he was resurrected from death was, 慞eace be with you!?It抯 all about peace, God damn it! It抯 all about棓
牋牋牋牋牋?Her attention was caught by a man advancing on her through the crowd, directed by some of the audience members.
牋牋牋牋牋?The man was a security guard.
牋牋牋牋牋?With his hand on his holster.
牋牋牋牋牋?Which held a gun.
牋牋牋牋牋?She inhaled sharply, eyes blazing. Her hands went to her waist. In an instant, she whipped off her ultra-trim petite-size faux-leather belt, gripped the buckle in her right hand, and let the short remainder swing free. She darted around the lectern and ran at the security guard in a fury. 揋et out of here!?she shrieked. 揌ow dare you bring a weapon into my Father抯 hou棓
牋牋牋牋牋?The guard was very nervous and very fast.
牋牋牋牋牋?The gunshot was deafening but less notable than the intense sting and the bone-rattling thump in梟o, through her chest梥he was surprised, taken aback梩he screams, such screaming everywhere梥he slowed down, still staggering forward in shock?i style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>He actually shot me! He shot me!梐nd she tried to do what she knew she had to do next, to draw breath and say what Jesus said, but she got only as far as 揊orgive them棓 when she choked. Blood filled her mouth. The floor came up but never hit her.
牋牋牋牋牋?And then . . .
Original: 10/29/05
FINIS