Prisoner of Hope
?004 The Angst Guy
(theangstguy@yahoo.com)
Daria and associated
characters are ?004 MTV Networks
Feedback (good, bad, indifferent,
just want to bother me, whatever) is appreciated. Please write to:
theangstguy@yahoo.com
Synopsis: Daria抯 sole fan from childhood is reunited with her heroine梐nd learns a bitter lesson in this continuation of the fifth-season episode 揅amp Fear.?o:p>
Author抯
Notes: In
September 2003, Bower of Bliss (Tafka) issued an Iron Chef challenge on PPMB to
write a story in which a minor 揇aria?character has a major role, in canon,
with Daria herself in a subplot. Amelia (the friendly camper from 揅amp Fear?
was one of the minor characters offered. This story appeared on PPMB in March
2004梐 bit late, but it is always better late than never where fanfic is
concerned. Amelia is a peculiar fish, and discussions of her actual purpose in
the show (e.g., did she represent 揇aria?fans in general?) are interesting.
Acknowledgements: My thanks go out to Bower
of Bliss for her intriguing Iron Chef challenge, which inspired this story.
*
牋牋牋牋牋?When Roy picked up his little sister
from the Camp Grizzly reunion that Sunday afternoon, he suspected something was
wrong. She stood beside her duffle bag in the parking lot when he drove up,
wearing her periwinkle tank top, beige cargo pants, and camel-colored boots,
but she was missing the blue Camp Grizzly T-shirt she抎 received when he抎
dropped her off the day before at noon. She barely met his gaze when he waved
to her, though she seemed relieved to see him. After she threw her duffle bag
into the trunk of the car, she climbed into the back seat, slammed the door,
picked up her CD player from the floor where she抎 left it a day ago, took off
her square-frame glasses, put on her earphones, and closed her eyes. With her
arms folded across her chest, she slouched down as far as she could with a seat
belt on.
牋牋牋牋牋?揂melia??Roy asked, pronouncing her
name meel-ya as he always did. He strained to turn around enough in the
driver抯 seat to see her. Her face was tight, and she did not respond. He knew
the weekend had not gone well, then. Amelia had her moods, like any
eighteen-year-old, and there was no point pressing her at the moment. He
shrugged and drove off for home, four hours away.
牋牋牋牋牋?One long, quiet hour down the
Interstate later, somewhere in hilly country, Roy spotted a Pizza King near an
off-ramp and made for it. When he pulled into a parking space and turned off
the car, he heard Amelia stir in the back seat. 揥hat are we doing here??she
asked.
牋牋牋牋牋?揇inner,?said Roy. 揑 told Dad we抎 probably eat on the way back, and he said it was fine. We won抰 get home until almost seven.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揑抦 not hungry.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揅ome in anyway,?said Roy, getting out of the car. 揝tretch and come sit with me for a little.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Amelia grimaced, but she tossed
aside her earphones and got out of the car. After a bathroom break and a chance
to place their dinner order, Roy sat back in his seat in their booth and
studied his sister. For a little sister she wasn抰 very little, reaching five
foot nine as a high-school senior, though Roy still had her by three inches. He
watched as she swept her dark brown bangs behind her ears and rested her chin
on her crossed arms on the tabletop, staring into space. The freckles on her
face had darkened from the time she抎 spent out in the sun.
牋牋牋牋牋?He wondered what had gone wrong. In
particular, he hoped she hadn抰 been harassed or picked on or shut out of the
group at camp, though it was likely she had.
牋牋牋牋牋?揇id you see that girl you
remembered from five years ago??he asked. 揇-something??It was as good a
place to start as any.
牋牋牋牋牋?揇aria.?Amelia closed her eyes, took a breath, and let it out. 揧eah.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揟hings didn抰 go so well anyway??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Her face hardened. 揅amp sucked.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揑 remember you told me it would
suck, but you went because you were hoping that girl抎 be there棓
牋牋牋牋牋?揑t didn抰 work out.?Her mouth twitched. 揑 mean, it sorta did, but it didn抰.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揙h,?he sighed. Their drink orders
came at that point. He left her alone for a couple of minutes. As he抎 hoped,
she began to talk again.
牋牋牋牋牋?揝he didn抰 want me around,?Amelia said, putting down her Ultra-Cola. She sat back in her seat, looking down at the tabletop. 揑 tried all day yesterday to get her to talk to me, but she kept trying to read a book and wouldn抰 say much.?She made a face. 揟hen, this morning, she really told me off. She didn抰 want anyone around her. She didn抰 want to be at the camp any more than I did, but she didn抰 want to do anything else, either. Not a people person. I knew she was like that, but not that much.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揝o, she turned out to be a jerk.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Amelia shook her head, but only for a moment. 揝he wasn抰 a jerk. Well, she was, sort of, but she . . . it抯 sort of complicated. It was sort of my fault, too.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揧our fault? How??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Amelia spread her hands. 揑 kept bugging her. I didn抰 want to be around the rest of those dorks, I just wanted to spend some time with her, but . . . it . . . she just wasn抰 in the mood. She was mad about being there. She didn抰 take part in any of the events, she ignored that asshole Skip when he tried to bully everyone around and make them do this stupid camp crap. She just did her own thing as usual, and I got in her way. She told me later she went to the reunion just to avoid helping her parents clean out the garage.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Roy snorted, amused. 揝he sounds like a jerk.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Amelia played with the straw in her drink. 揗aybe she is, sort of.?She was silent for a long moment. 揑 still liked her. I wish she抎 . . . that we抎 . . . eh.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Roy looked sadly at his sister. She
had never been able to join the cliques at any school she抎 attended. Their
family had moved around too much. When their father finally retired from the
Air Force two years ago, it was too late. Amelia had already learned to keep
her own company when she wasn抰 with family. As far as Roy knew, she had no
female friends at all, except for a cousin she rarely saw. She liked hanging
out with guys, who were easy to get along with, but not so much girls. The
connections were always getting broken or weren抰 getting made. She never fit
in.
牋牋牋牋牋?揑 started a riot just before you got there,?Amelia added. 揂bout noon, just before lunch.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揥hat??Roy blinked and leaned forward. 揑 missed that. What抎 you say??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揑 tried to start a riot. Daria said I was just following the crowd, like everyone else, which was also why she didn抰 want me to be around her. I guess it was like I was a cow in a herd, even when I was trying to make her the herd I was following, and . . . I had to go think about it.?/p>
牋牋牋牋牋?This last phrase, Roy knew, was a
code for: I got really upset and depressed and everything went to hell.
This Daria character sounded like more of an asshole than this Skip guy that
Amelia had always hated. Roy didn抰 like it that Daria had decided to sandpaper
his sister抯 feelings, no matter what was going on. 揥hat happened with the
riot??he asked, staying cool.
牋牋牋牋牋?揙h, Skip was doing something stupid, trying to get everyone to do something stupid with him, and I went up and took his microphone away, and I told everyone I was sick of it all. I wasn抰 going to be pushed around anymore, I hated camp, and I was going to be more like Daria and stop kissing Skip抯 butt. I threw my T-shirt at him and went off to do what I wanted to do.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Roy stared at Amelia in mild surprise. He knew she was capable of this, as she抎 had similar but smaller explosions like that in the past, but only while reacting in typical teenage fashion to their parents. Her connection to Daria, though, threw him off. 揑 thought you told me once it was better to be a team player than a loner, even if you were sick of your team,?he said. 揂nd you just told me Daria was a jerk, so why抎 you want to be like her??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?His sister fidgeted, looking uncomfortable. 揝ome teams aren抰 worth being a part of,?she said. 揂nd Daria might be a jerk, but at least she did what she had to do to get through a bad situation.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揝he went to camp just to blow off her folks, you said.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揧eah, but . . .?Amelia sighed, looking down at her lap. 揝he was right anyway.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揜ight in what way??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揟o use her right not to be a part of a stupid crowd. Just because everyone does something stupid doesn抰 mean you have to do it, too.?/p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揧ou抮e not stupid.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揑 can be stupid sometimes.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Not like Daria抯 being stupid, Roy thought. You抮e one of the smartest people who ever went through your high school, smarter even than me, but you had the bad luck to try to make an antisocial bitch your best friend. He hoped his sister wasn抰 going to use this incident and Daria抯 loner philosophy as an excuse to fight with their parents more than she already was. 揝o, what抎 they do to you when you tried to start this riot??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揘othing.?Amelia took another sip of her cola. 揈veryone else took off their camp shirts and threw them on the ground or threw them at Skip, and we ate lunch and just sat around and talked or did whatever.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揑s someone going to call Dad or Mom and tell them about this, to get you in trouble??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Amelia shook her head. 揘ah, I don抰 think so. I don抰 care, anyway. Mr. Potts, the guy in charge, he didn抰 care. He was sick of Skip, too, I think.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Roy rubbed his chin. 揗an, you really know how to stir things up.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揑 don抰 care. I抦 sick of following everyone around, trying to fit in. To hell with them. I just want to do what I want to do.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揕ike what抯-her-name棓
牋牋牋牋牋?揇aria.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揇aria.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揧eah. Sort of.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?The pizza arrived. Roy was glad for
the chance to take a rest from the subject. They killed off a medium Carnivore
Lovers pan pizza and some breadsticks, played a few videogames, and were back
on the road right after that. Amelia sat in the front seat this time, with her
earphones on. She slept off and on during the long, dull drive.
牋牋牋牋牋?Somewhere about halfway home, Roy tapped the dashboard in front of his sister抯 face while she was awake. She pulled off the earphones and looked over. 揥hat??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揝o, you didn抰 tell me how things
ended with Daria,?he asked.
牋牋牋牋牋?揙h.?She was silent for a moment. 揥e talked a little afterward. She said she was sorry she got up my butt about stuff. She just didn抰 want to be there, she hated the other campers, and it got her in a bad mood. She didn抰 like fan clubs, either, by which she meant me, I guess. I said it was okay. We talked a little about stuff, and then her friends came to pick her up, and I hung out until you came.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揊riends? Daria has friends??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揧eah.?The word came out in a sad way. 揌er best friend and best friend抯 brother came to pick her up. Jane, that was her name, her best friend. She likes teasing Daria, and she said something that got Daria抯 underwear in a knot, so she walked off. Jane thought it was funny.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?The silence lasted a few seconds
more.
牋牋牋牋牋?揑 talked to Jane before they left. We couldn抰 talk much because they had to drive back to Lawndale, several hours away. I asked Jane if she was Daria抯 friend, and she said yeah, and she asked me if I was Daria抯 friend, too.?Another pause. 揑 said I didn抰 know, I kinda doubted it, but I admired her.?Amelia sighed, her voice low. 揂nd then I said to Jane that I envied her, that she was Daria抯 friend. Maybe she抯 Daria抯 only friend, but I envied her.?Another pause. 揝he looked at me kind of funny then, and she said something weird. She said I should be careful what I wish for.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Roy thought about that. 揥as she mad that you said that??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揘o. No, she looked . . .?Amelia looked out the window at the passing trees. 揑 think she was saying that being Daria抯 friend wasn抰 paradise. I can imagine, after what she said to me earlier. I guess Jane抯 gotten the short end of the stick more than a few times, but she still hangs with her.?He voice grew soft. 揑 wonder why.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Roy made a face. 揧ou just said yourself that you admire Daria, though I抎 never figure out in a million years why.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揑t抯 not the same as being her
friend. I wanted that more than anything when I went there. I wanted to find
Daria and be her friend, and we抎 write or call or send e-mails, but . . .?Her
voice drifted away.
牋牋牋牋牋?Roy could tell it would take his sister some time to get over whatever had happened with Daria. Good riddance to bad trash, Roy thought, feeling angry but knowing it was pointless. 揝ome people can have only one friend,?he said aloud. 揑 never thought it was possible, but I met some people at college like that. They can抰 handle anything more for long. No room in their lives for anything outside themselves.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Amelia made a little noise to
indicate she抎 heard, but nothing else.
牋牋牋牋牋?揧ou okay??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?His sister nodded, and he believed
her. It didn抰 surprise him. She抎 always be okay. She抎 tried to reach for a
way out of her loneliness, and it hadn抰 worked, but she抎 make it. At least
she had family and the guys who were her friends. Maybe someday she抎 find a
best friend. He hoped she would.
牋牋牋牋牋?And maybe someday, Roy
thought with a little hope, Daria would get hers for being such a jerk.
牋牋牋牋牋?After a minute, Amelia put her
earphones on again, turned on her CD player, and slouched back in the passenger
seat, staring out the window. When her brother checked next, her eyes were
closed and she was asleep.
Original:
03/02/04, modified 10/28/04
FINIS