Howard
?004 The Angst Guy
(theangstguy@yahoo.com)
Daria and associated
characters are ?004 MTV Networks
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Synopsis: Daria Morgendorffer hears
the story about Howard the duck (not that Howard the Duck) in this
third-season tale that explains why Trent Lane will not go into a bookstore. A
little shipperiness and angst included.
Author抯
Notes:
Early in December 2003, Mahna Mahna posted an Iron Chef challenge
(揃ookstoraphobia? to explain why, in the second-season episode ?/span>Pierce Me,?Trent says he cannot 搒et foot in a bookstore?but refuses to explain further. The Iron Chef story had to include three other
elements as well, these being a ?8 Chevy, a gift certificate, and a duck. It
took almost three months to come up with a story. Here it is.
Acknowledgements: Thank you, Mahna Mahna, for
the clever challenge.
*
牋牋牋牋牋?When Daria Morgendorffer got to Jane
Lane抯 house that Saturday afternoon, hoping for a pleasant walk to the Books
By The Ton outlet store, Jane抯 older brother Trent was the one who answered
the door. He wore only a pair of faded blue jeans and sandals. Blue Maori
tattoos stood out through the dark hair covering his shoulders, arms, and
chest, and he was chewing on a toothpick.
牋牋牋牋牋?揙h,?said Trent in his low, rough
voice. He took the toothpick from his mouth. 揌ey, Daria. What抯 up??He ran a
hand through his tangled black hair as he looked down at the diminutive, brown-haired
figure who was his little sister抯 eleventh-grade classmate and best friend.
牋牋牋牋牋?揢mph,?said Daria, her face burning furiously as she tried not to stare at Trent抯 naked chest. She adjusted her large round glasses and pointed vaguely into the house, her gaze darting everywhere but continuing to come back to his lean upper-body musculature. 揢m . . .?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揧eah, Janey抯 here,?Trent said easily, 揵ut she抯, uh, kind of indisposed or something. Come on in.?He pushed the door open. 揝he抣l be out of the bathroom eventually. She likes to read in there. Good for her mind.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Trent waved and walked off to the
kitchen, leaving Daria to close the front door. She stared after him, noting
how low his blue jeans rode on his narrow hips, and her face got even redder.
Coordinating her limbs took major effort under these trying conditions, and she
tripped and almost fell while walking across the worn carpet. Luckily, her best
friend抯 older brother did not see this, allowing Daria to cling to the rags of
her self-respect. If crushes were diseases, Daria抯 would long ago have sent
her to an early grave.
牋牋牋牋牋?In moments, Daria found herself in the kitchen with Trent, realizing too late she hadn抰 meant to follow him around like a puppy. Before she could back up and escape to Jane抯 room, Trent sat down at the kitchen table and saw her. 揌ave a seat,?he said, indicating one of the mismatched chairs at the table. 揑抦 working on some new songs.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揧ou抮e working on some new songs??she repeated梐nd she winced and smacked her forehead. Despite her immediate
desire to run from the house and never be seen again, she watched helplessly as
her traitorous body walked to an unoccupied chair and sat down next to Trent.
牋牋牋牋牋?揧eah.?Trent nodded sagely. He
opened a huge, battered notebook and picked up a pencil, holding it over a
partially completed set of lyrics. 揑 need a word that rhymes with 慼ex.挃
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria抯 mind instantly supplied a word that she fought to suppress. She thought her face would catch fire. 揗mm,?she mumbled. 揢m, plex.?Shaking her head violently, she turned redder and tried again. 揘o, that抯 not a word. Sorry. Uh, pex. No! I meant, blex. Bex! No梩rex! Dex gex mex fex!?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揟rex??asked Trent with a frown.
牋牋牋牋牋?揑 meant sex!?said Daria,
almost shouting. With a gasp, she clamped both hands over her mouth, staring at
Trent in horror.
牋牋牋牋牋?揝ex,?said Trent. He looked at the ceiling, then looked down, nodding thoughtfully. 揧eah, that抣l work. Sex. Cool. Thanks, Daria.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria leaned forward in her seat and
banged her forehead on the tabletop.
牋牋牋牋牋?揧ou抮e thanking Daria for sex??asked Jane, walking into the kitchen with a magazine in hand.
牋牋牋牋牋?揧eah,?said Trent, writing something in his notebook. 揑t was her idea.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria made a strangled squeak that
sounded like 搉o.?It was hard to tell if that was the actual word, as she
wouldn抰 look up from the tabletop.
牋牋牋牋牋?Jane gave Daria an amused look, noting her friend抯 terminal embarrassment. 揑抦 sorry I missed it, then. The video would have sold for at least a grand over the Internet, easy.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揤ideo of what??Trent asked, still
writing out song lyrics.
牋牋牋牋牋?Desperate to escape, Daria stood up
and promptly knocked her chair over backward. She tried to grab it but turned
around too quickly, losing her balance. Her legs entangled, she stumbled and
fell梩oward Trent. Trent looked up just in time to catch her around the waist
and pull her to his chest with a surprisingly strong arm.
牋牋牋牋牋?揧ou okay there, Daria??he asked,
still seated. He held her upright until she was steady on her feet again.
牋牋牋牋牋?揊ine,?she croaked hoarsely. 揊ine.
Thanks.?His body scent was sweaty, masculine, and powerful, and his grip was
gentle but firm where he held her around her waist. I抦 only seventeen and
he抯 twenty-two! cried the rational part of her mind, which at the moment
was down to only one neuron. She was positive she would go mad if he held her
but a moment more.
牋牋牋牋牋?Trent let her go.
牋牋牋牋牋?揘o problem,?he said, returning to
his notebook. After a moment to recover her bearings, Daria started to leave
the kitchen as quickly as she could梑ut then noticed that Jane was sitting at
the table opposite Trent.
牋牋牋牋牋?揌ave a seat,?said Jane grandly, enjoying Daria抯 discomfort. She waved at her oblivious brother. 揟rent抯 lap is free.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揥e were going to go out!?said Daria, teeth gritted.
牋牋牋牋牋?揙ut??said Jane. She appeared to think hard. 揥as that before or after the sex??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Before Daria could come up with a
response梟ot that one was possible桾rent looked up from writing out his lyrics.
揑抳e already got that,?he said.
牋牋牋牋牋?揥hat??said Jane.
牋牋牋牋牋?揟he sex,?said Trent. He looked down and began writing again. 揋ood idea, Daria.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揃ookstore!?Daria whispered urgently to Jane. She didn抰 dare look at Trent. 揟o bookstore go we must, Jane. To go now, yes! Bookstore!?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揃ookstore??said Trent, looking up. He frowned and shook his head. 揘ot me.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Even in the depths of her
humiliation, Daria remembered a long-ago conversation she抎 had with Trent, on
a day in her sophomore year when the two of them went shopping for a gift for
Jane抯 birthday. Forgetting her shame for a fraction of a second, Daria turned
to Trent with a puzzled look. 揥hy??she asked.
牋牋牋牋牋?Trent grunted and stared at the page
with his new lyrics. 揑 can抰 go into a bookstore again,?he said. After a
pause, he flipped the notebook shut and got up from the table. 揑 don抰 want to
talk about it,?he added, and he walked out of the kitchen, leaving his lyrics
book and pencil behind.
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria and Jane stared after him in surprise. 揥ell,?said Jane, 搉ow you know the magic anti-relationship word. Bookstore. I knew it would work on football players, but Trent was a surprise.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揑抦 going to kill you,?Daria
hissed. 揑 swear on the Encyclopedia Britannica, you pull this yenta
thing once more, and I am going to chop you into棓
牋牋牋牋牋?揧eah, yeah, yeah,?said Jane, still looking after her brother. 揟rent??she called. 揌ey, Trent??Receiving no response, she got up and walked to the doorway of the kitchen. She motioned to Daria. 揅ome on. He went upstairs to his room.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揘o!?said Daria, almost shouting
again. 揌e told me a long time ago that he could never go into a bookstore, and
I don抰 need to know why! Let抯 get out of here now and go to the棓
牋牋牋牋牋?Jane grabbed Daria by the hand and,
ignoring her protests, dragged her out of the kitchen toward the staircase. A
minute later, they stood in the open doorway to Trent抯 large, ill-kept
bedroom. Trent lay on his back on his bed, an arm thrown over his eyes. The
floor was so covered with old clothing, papers, and CDs, it was difficult to
know if the room actually had a carpet.
牋牋牋牋牋?揟rent??said Jane, holding Daria抯 arm with both hands to prevent her continued attempts at escape. 揥hy won抰 you go into a bookstore??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揑 can抰 talk about it,?Trent said.
He coughed, then fell silent again on the bed.
牋牋牋牋牋?揧ou have to,?said Jane. 揇aria says she has to know why, and she has to know right now. Don抰 you, Daria??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋??i>Shut up!?Daria hissed,
desperately trying to break Jane抯 grip on her wrist.
牋牋牋牋牋?Trent swung his feet over the side of the bed to sit upright. Sighing, he looked down at his clasped hands, his elbows resting on his knees. 揙kay,?he said softly, 揑抣l tell you. But don抰 bug me about it anymore. I don抰 like to talk about it.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria stared at Trent and stopped
struggling to get free. She and Jane exchanged glances, Jane let go of Daria抯
wrist, then both stepped into the room on their own. Jane walked over to the
bed and sat down next to Trent. Daria started to sit beside Jane, but Jane
caught her and forcefully directed her to sit on the other side of Trent. Kill
you, Daria mouthed to her friend with a glare, but Jane paid no attention.
牋牋牋牋牋?揝o, why won抰 you go into a bookstore??Jane prodded. 揑 never thought about it until now, but I抳e never seen you go into one.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Trent looked down at the floor. 揑 never went to them much because they didn抰 sell music books,?he began. After a long pause, he said, 揟he bad stuff sort of started when you were in middle school.?Another long pause later, he went on. 揑t was because of Howard.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揌oward??Jane looked confused. 揌oward who??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揅ome on, Janey, you remember Howard,?said Trent, shaking his head but staring at the floor. 揟he white duck.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揌oward the Duck??asked Daria in
surprise. 揟he one in the comics??She was almost able to forget she was
sitting right next to Trent, who was still half-dressed. On a bed. Just inches
from her.
牋牋牋牋牋?揘o, the one that kept coming by our house,?said Trent. His hands began to work, his arm muscles knotting up. 揑 think he was tame or something. He wouldn抰 fly off when you walked up to him, if you were careful.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揙h-oh-oh! I remember!?said Jane, looking excited. 揌oward! Yeah! You named him after the street we live on, Howard Drive!?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揑 knew you抎 remember him,?said Trent. 揌e liked bread crumbs. I used to take a slice of whole-wheat bread out every day and feed it to him in the backyard.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揑 fed him, too. He was great! A little fat after a while, though. He bit Wind in the nose once, I remember. Beaked his beak.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揧eah.?Trent smiled. 揟hat was pretty funny. Wind tried to look at his eyes real close to see if they were pink, but Howard didn抰 like someone抯 face so close to his. Jesse抯 kind of like that, too, but he won抰 bite anyone for it. He just backs away.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揥ind said his nose was maimed forever,?Jane said, also smiling. 揌e had it covered with a huge bandage for weeks.?She sighed. 揋ood times.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揋ood times,?said Trent, nodding in
agreement.
牋牋牋牋牋?揝o, it was because of Howard the not internationally famous duck that you stopped going to bookstores,?said Daria, feeling a bit of her self-possession return. 揅orrect me if I抦 wrong here.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Trent thought about this, then nodded. 揘o, that抯 right. I went to a bookstore and got a book on birds so I抎 know more about him. He was a regular duck, sort of, but it didn抰 have anything about regular ducks in the book, so I read about mallards. Didn抰 help much, but it was interesting anyway.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Silence reigned for about ten
seconds.
牋牋牋牋牋?揑 don抰 get it,?said Daria.
牋牋牋牋牋?Trent took a patient breath. 揌oward was a cool duck. He was the best.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Jane nodded, lost in her memories.
Another long silence.
牋牋牋牋牋?揂nd??Daria said.
牋牋牋牋牋?Trent raised a hand and rubbed his face. 揂nd someone ran over him.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria blinked. She tried to form a
response to this but could not. 揙h,?she said. The news disturbed her more
than she let on. I shouldn抰 be upset about this, she thought. People
are thoughtless and mean like that all the time, and it was probably an
accident. Her eyes started to burn anyway, and she swallowed.
牋牋牋牋牋?揌e liked to walk on the sidewalk and get handouts from people, but he sometimes crossed the street when there were cars around. Everyone stopped or went around him, mostly, but one night someone didn抰, and I found him the next morning.?Trent rubbed his eyes, then dropped his hand. 揌e was already dead. I got a shovel and buried him in the backyard, where the irises are. I didn抰 want him to get thrown out in the trash. I thought he should be with people who liked him.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?The burning in Daria抯 eyes was
intense. She looked away as if interested in the wall and rubbed her eyes,
trying to wipe them dry. The rubbing made them redder and wetter. Her throat
hurt. It was just a duck, she told herself. Stop it!
牋牋牋牋牋?揝o,?continued Trent, 揑 wanted to
write a song about Howard. I thought he抎 like that. I went to the bookstore to
look for another book on ducks, something that wasn抰 about mallards. Mom gave
me a gift certificate that someone gave her in payment for a pot she抎 made,
and I went looking for a book.?His voice drifted off.
牋牋牋牋牋?Jane poked her brother in the knee
after another minute passed.
牋牋牋牋牋?揟hey didn抰 have anything,?Trent said. 揑 wanted to write about Howard and his life, kind of like it might have been, you know, for a duck, but the store didn抰 have anything, so I went home. I sat next to where I抎 buried him and tried to think like he might have thought, but that didn抰 work, either. He was a duck. He was different, but I still liked him. He was okay.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揧ou never wrote the song,?said
Daria. It worked to wipe her eyes on her sleeve, where Trent wouldn抰 see it.
牋牋牋牋牋?揘ever.?Trent opened his hands and looked at them. 揂 man came by the house later, a few days afterward. He heard from someone that Howard hung around our place, and he thought Howard was our pet. He said he was the one who hit Howard. It was an accident. Howard was crossing the street at night, and the man didn抰 see him until it was too late. He was driving around in an old car, a sixty-eight Chevy he was trying to restore, and he felt bad but he thought Howard was just a duck. When he heard more about him and he thought it was our pet, he felt really bad and said he抎 pay for us to get another duck.?Trent shrugged. 揑 said no. It wouldn抰 be Howard.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Trent hesitated, then added, 揑 told him it was okay. It was an accident. The guy didn抰 mean it, and he looked like he felt pretty bad about it. I didn抰 think Howard wanted people to feel bad. I told him it was okay. We shook hands, and he went away.?He reflected. 揘ice car. The Chevy.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Trent rubbed his hands together. 揑 went in the backyard later, and I sat down by Howard and told him about it. After a while, I didn抰 feel so bad, that I couldn抰 write a song for him, and I went back in.?He clapped his hands lightly together. 揟hat was it. But I couldn抰 go in a bookstore again. It made me think too much of Howard.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Jane leaned over and gave her
brother a hug from the side. Trent put an arm around her, and on impulse put an
arm around Daria, too, and hugged her close. She let him do it. It felt good.
牋牋牋牋牋?After a good hug, he let them both
go and got up from the bed. 揑 should get showered,?Trent said, and he walked
out of the room and down the hall. When the bathroom door closed behind him,
Daria looked over at Jane, who looked over at her.
牋牋牋牋牋?揧ou okay, amiga??Jane asked.
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria nodded, looking away again.
牋牋牋牋牋?揑抦 sorry about dragging you in
here.?Jane looked away, too, and scratched the back of her head.
牋牋牋牋牋?揑t抯 okay,?said Daria.
牋牋牋牋牋?揝o, you still want to go to the bookstore??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria looked down at her boots. 揧eah.?After a pause, she said, 揗aybe Howard would want it that way.?She flinched, making a face. 揋od, did I really say that??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揌e was a good duck,?said Jane. 揑 liked him. I hadn抰 heard the whole story about him before. I never knew he was buried under the irises. They抳e always grown well there, for some reason. Guess it was Howard. Beats me.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?With a deep breath, Daria got up
from the bed, wiping her eyes a last time. Jane followed suit a moment later.
牋牋牋牋牋?揥e can still stick around if you want,?Jane said. 揟he lock on the bathroom door抯 broken, and you can hand Trent a towel when he comes out. He might like that.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揑 hate you!?Daria hissed, walking
out of the room.
牋牋牋牋牋?揌ey, it might be foggy in there after he turns off the shower,?Jane said with a little smile, following behind her. 揌e might not be able to find the towel rack. I抦 trying to look out for him, okay??o:p>
Original:
02/29/04, modified 10/28/04
FINIS