Dark of Hearts
?004 The Angst Guy
(theangstguy@yahoo.com)
Daria and associated
characters are ?004 MTV Networks
Feedback (good, bad, indifferent,
just want to bother me, whatever) is appreciated. Please write to:
theangstguy@yahoo.com
Synopsis: How would the third-season
episode 揓ake of Hearts?have gone if Jake抯 father, Mad Dog Morgendorffer,
were still alive? This twisted Daria/Tom shipper-fic from a dark alternate
universe answers the question.
Author抯
Notes: In
late January 2003, MMan posted an Iron Chef challenge on PPMB called 揈very Dog
Has His Dotage.?He asked for alternate-universe stories in which 揗ad Dog?Morgendorffer, Jake抯 father, was still alive during the time of Daria抯
high-school years in Lawndale. Mad Dog抯 existence had to be a key part of the
story. 揇ark of Hearts?was my response to the challenge.
Acknowledgements: My thanks go out to MMan
for his challenge.
*
牋牋牋牋牋?It was hot and the air was dead, and
the black dress created an itchy spot on Daria Morgendorffer抯 back that she
could not reach. After bearing it for many long minutes as the minister droned
on about loss and grief and renewal, she tensed her shoulders and gently rubbed
her back against the pew to ease it. It helped only a bit. She sighed and let
it go. The itch, like almost everything else today, was not important. It could
be borne for a while longer.
牋牋牋牋牋?The choir began 揂mazing Grace?when
the minister finished. Daria had never been particularly religious, but she
listened dutifully in the unlikely event the words had some meaning for her on
this day. In the end, she concluded they did not. Wretched she was, as well as
her mother and sister, but of redemption there was no sign. Still, she could
bear that, too. She was expected to sit, stand, or walk when the moment called
for it; nothing else would be asked of her. It would be a simple day.
牋牋牋牋牋?I wish Tom were here, she
thought.
牋牋牋牋牋?Her hands lay open in her lap as the
choir sang. A bead of sweat ran down the side of her face to her chin. The
overhead fans and air conditioning were not up to dealing with an overflowing
congregation on a clear spring day. Daria glanced to her right at her mother,
who sat straight up in the pew in her own black dress, with pearl earrings and
necklace, her wedding and engagement rings, a red rose in her fingers. To
Daria抯 surprise, her mother抯 gaze was dry, steady and strong. Except for that
terrible moment during Tuesday dinner, four days ago, and later that night in
the ER waiting room when the doctor gave them the final news, her mother had
not cried at all.
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria抯 sister Quinn, however, had
never stopped crying. Indeed, she wept even now. Quinn sat on the opposite side
of their mother from Daria, one hand clutching their mother抯 hand and the
other hand wiping her eyes and nose with a soggy handkerchief. Even in her
misery with a minimum of makeup, Quinn looked stunning. Her best friend, Sandi
Griffin, sat on Quinn抯 other side with her chin up, watching the choir. She
seemed to pay no attention to Quinn抯 tears, but her rigid face betrayed her
strain.
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria felt a thin, strong hand reach
across her lap and take one of her hands as the song drew to a close. She
turned her head just enough to see the large blue eyes of her only friend
looking back at her. Daria looked down at once, but she squeezed Jane Lane抯
hand in gratitude. Unlike Sandi, Jane did not look stoic. Her expression
reflected the inside of Daria抯 soul.
牋牋牋牋牋?The minister said a few more words,
then two of the ushers walked to the front of the church and carefully lowered
the lid on the oak-paneled casket. It was a pretty casket, and Daria admired
the purple silk pillows and lining as the lid came down. She then looked one
last time on the face of her father, then the lid was sealed and he was gone.
Quinn sobbed audibly. Their mother swallowed but looked steadily onward. He
looked like he was asleep, Daria thought. He looked so much better than
he did Tuesday night when I wiped guacamole from his face with my hands and
tried to give him mouth-to-mouth, while Quinn stood in the background and
screamed, and Mom shouted at the 911 operator as if this were all the
operator抯 fault. I tried to bring him back, but he had already left us. He
looked good now, though. At least there抯 that.
牋牋牋牋牋?She watched the casket be rolled out
of the chapel through a side door. I wish you had been with us more when you
were alive, she thought to the casket抯 occupant. I wish you had spent
some real time with us, time when you were not yelling at Mad Dog on the phone
or yelling about him to the rest of us. I knew so little of you, and now it is
done, and on I will go wherever that leads me. But I wish you had been with me
for a little while. I would have liked to know you. It is my darkest fear,
however, that I did.
牋牋牋牋牋?I wish I knew if you had ever loved
me. I wish I could hear those words from someone, someday.
牋牋牋牋牋?I wish Tom were here.
牋牋牋牋牋?The service concluded. One of the ushers
motioned to the Morgendorffers to rise and accompany him up the center aisle
and out of the chapel. Helen Morgendorffer calmly rose to her feet, holding
Quinn by the hand. Jane rose with Daria, and Sandi with Quinn. Daria looked
around and saw her four aunts, her cousins, her mother抯 parents梐nd her
father抯: Grandma Ruth and bent, white-haired Mad Dog.
牋牋牋牋牋?Mad Dog was all that anyone in the
family ever called him, at his own insistence. He hated to be called Grandpa or
Dad, or addressed by his real name. If you forgot and called him something he
didn抰 like, he turned away and would not speak to you for the rest of the day.
Mad Dog, that was how he wanted to be remembered. It was his Army nickname. He
had been in the service for only two years during the Second World War, working
as a supply clerk at a post in Arizona, so how he got the name Mad Dog was
anyone抯 guess, though he did have a bad temper. He抯 mellowed, Grandma Ruth
always said, so Mad Dog must have been a real bastard in his younger days.
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria followed her mother out of the
chapel. They walked past Mad Dog and Grandma Ruth, but Daria did not look at
either one. It was Mad Dog who had driven her father to the grave, Daria knew,
Mad Dog抯 constant harassment that brought on her father抯 fatal heart attack,
but she felt no animosity toward Mad Dog over it. It was just the way life was.
She did not like it, but she felt there was nothing she could do about it, so
she let it go.
牋牋牋牋牋?A black limousine drove the
Morgendorffers, Jane, and Sandi to the cemetery. Daria did not later remember
the ride. It was as hot at the cemetery as it had been in the church, and no
breeze stirred the air. Daria thought she saw heat ripples coming from the tops
of nearby tombstones as her father抯 coffin was lowered into the earth.
牋牋牋牋牋?The service at the gravesite ended.
The crowd broke up. Daria found herself alone with Jane, and she turned to her
friend.
牋牋牋牋牋?揇o you think puppets would help??she asked.
牋牋牋牋牋?Jane blinked. 揥hat??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揧ou said puppets could make anything funny. Could they make this funny??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Jane stared at Daria for a long
moment, then put her arms around her best friend and pulled her close.
牋牋牋牋牋?揑 wish Tom were here,?Daria said.
She felt Jane stiffen briefly, but she gave Daria an extra squeeze before
letting her go.
牋牋牋牋牋?揑 think we抮e going back to the
church for lunch,?said Jane. She never talked about Tom. Daria knew why, but
it did not bother her.
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria looked after the rest of her
family. 揑 guess I could eat something,?she said.
牋牋牋牋牋?揋ood,?said Jane. She kept her arm
around Daria抯 waist. Daria did not object and gave in to her friend抯 urging
to walk back to the limousine. She turned around once to look back at her
father抯 grave. A backhoe and three workmen waited nearby to fill all the dirt
in once the tent was taken down. Beside the grave stood Mad Dog and Grandma
Ruth in silence, looking down at their son抯 casket at the bottom of a ten-foot
pit of red clay. Grandma Ruth wiped her eyes with a handkerchief. Mad Dog stood
there and did nothing.
牋牋牋牋牋?I could push him in, Daria
thought as she looked back at Mad Dog. I could run back and push him in.
牋牋牋牋牋?She turned away instead and got in
the limousine and went to the church, where she ate fried chicken, biscuits and
gravy, and a slice of apple pie. Helen had lot of coffee and a chocolate
cupcake. Quinn ate nothing, a stone figure surrounded by her high-school
classmates. Mad Dog and Ruth did not stay, leaving for their home right after
they left the cemetery. No one missed them.
牋牋牋牋牋?After getting home that night, Daria
left the house with Jane and went for a walk. Their path seemed aimless at
first, but eventually Jane sighed and looked reluctant to continue in the
direction they were heading. They were at an intersection across from Lawndale
High School, where they attended eleventh grade.
牋牋牋牋牋?揥here are we going??Jane asked,
though Daria could tell Jane knew where they were going.
牋牋牋牋牋?揑 just want to see him for a little,?said Daria. 揑 won抰 be long. Want to come??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Jane groaned, then pulled on Daria抯 arm and turned her around to give her a long hug. 揑 can抰 go with you,?she said. 揑 just can抰. Don抰 be gone long. Call me when you get home, okay??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揙kay,?said Daria.
牋牋牋牋牋?揚romise you won抰 be long. Five minutes with Tom, ten max, then come home. Promise me.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揑 promise.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Jane gave her friend a last hug, then let her go. She watched Daria cross the street with the light, then walk off along the side of the high school to the east. When Daria disappeared around the side of the high school building, Jane turned and left. 揇amn it,?she muttered, kicking a pebble. 揋od damn it to hell.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria walked across the school
grounds toward the athletic fields. Beyond them were the wealthier
subdivisions, from Crewe Neck to the individual estates of Lawndale抯 elite.
牋牋牋牋牋?She was not going there, however.
She walked to the football field, where the Lawndale Lions were having
scrimmage practice to keep in shape for the traditional end-of-school-year game
with the Oakwood Taproots. Football was next to godliness in Lawndale, Daria
always said, if one wasn抰 choosy about the quality of one抯 gods. She stood
off to the side of the field, looking over the players, coaches, and students
and parents watching from the stands.
牋牋牋牋牋?揇aria??She turned and saw Brittany Taylor, the blonde head cheerleader. Brittany walked over with a distressed look and hugged Daria, though Daria did not hug back. 揑 am so sorry to hear about your dad,?she said. 揑s the funeral over??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揧eah,?said Daria. 揑s Tom around??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Brittany let go of Daria and regarded her with a strange look of sadness and pity. 揌e抯 back in the office, in the home team locker room,?she said. 揧ou抎 better call before you go in. He might . . . he might be busy.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揟hanks.?Daria started off in that
direction.
牋牋牋牋牋?揇aria??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria turned. Brittany tried to say
something, but in the end she just waved and wiped at her eyes. 揟ake care,?she said.
牋牋牋牋牋?The home-team locker room smelled as bad as could be expected, but Daria was almost used to it now. 揟om??she called. 揟om, are you back there??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揥hat??a man shouted back. 揥ho抯 out there??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揇aria.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?The man laughed explosively, then stopped. 揂ll right! My Lucky Charm! Wait out there, okay? I was havin?a conference 慴out the next game. Gimme a sec, okay??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揙kay.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria waited until a senior
cheerleader walked past her, clutching a clipboard with a red face. The
cheerleader did not look at Daria. Daria did not look at her.
牋牋牋牋牋?揅ome on back, Lucky Charm!?called
the man. Daria went through the locker room to the door marked: TOMMY SHERMAN,
ASSISTANT FOOTBALL COACH.
牋牋牋牋牋?揌ey, Lucky Charm!?said the muscular Tommy Sherman. His voice was nasal thanks to his badly healed broken nose.?He bent down and gave Daria a sloppy wet kiss with tongue. He smelled a little bit like a cheerleader抯 perfume. His right hand gave one of her breasts a quick squeeze. She let him do it. 揥here the hell you been??he said 揑 thought you抎 come watch practice today. I was waitin?and waitin?for you. What happened??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria found it hard to speak. 揑 was
. . . I was out with Mom and Quinn, at the棓
牋牋牋牋牋?揙h! Oh, yeah, right, your dad croaked. Right, I forgot about that. The funeral was today, right? Damn, sorry I couldn抰 make it, you know? We got this game comin?up, and if we don抰 win, Ms. Li said she抎 croak me, too. Yeah, like she really could croak old Tommy Sherman, right? Heh! That抎 be the day. Nobody抣l croak Tommy Sherman while you抮e around, right??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria nodded her head, looking down.
牋牋牋牋牋?Tommy抯 hand came up under her chin and pulled her gaze up to meet his. 揑 never forgot what you did for me, you know? You followed me out to the field that day I came back to Lawndale High, and you kept me from walkin?right up under that football goal when it broke and fell over. It coulda killed me, but you were there. You抮e my Lucky Charm, right? I抣l never forget my Lucky Charm, and you know it!?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?A smile came to Daria抯 face. 揟hank
you, Tom,?she said. It was as close to saying 搇ove?as Tommy ever got. It was
as close to 搇ove?as seventeen-year-old Daria had ever heard from a man. It
was good enough for her.
牋牋牋牋牋?揟hat weirdo friend of yours isn抰 still mad at me, is she??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揧ou mean Jane??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揥hatever. I didn抰 make a pass at her, if that抯 what she told you. I wouldn抰 go out with a chick like her unless I was well into a kegger, you know? And I wouldn抰 do it anyway, so she抯 lying if she said I said anything, okay??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揇on抰 worry about it.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揕ook, I gotta ask you somethin?
all right??said Tommy.
牋牋牋牋牋?揝ure,?she said.
牋牋牋牋牋?揌ow come you stick around with a guy like me??Tommy almost laughed but went on. 揑 mean, yeah, I抦 a chick magnet, I know that, and I got this cushy job from Principal Li on account of bein?a hero and all that, but you桰 mean, you抮e kind of like this brainy misery chick, you know, and I can抰 see how someone like you could hang around with someone awesomely cool like me, you know? I mean, don抰 get me wrong, you抮e okay, 慶ause you抮e like my Lucky Charm after you kept me from getting?killed, but梙ow come you wanna hang around a guy like me??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria抯 brown eyes looked up into
Tommy抯 face, as his cold gray eyes and broken nose and long-battered face.
牋牋牋牋牋?揧ou remind me of my father,?she
said.
牋牋牋牋牋?揟he dead guy??Tommy laughed aloud. 揙h, man, sorry, you threw me there! That was weird! I remind you of your father? Was he like some kind of football hero??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揘o.?Daria shrugged. 揧ou just do.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揌ey, whatever. Look, let抯 take a few minutes and do something to cheer you up, okay??Tommy pulled off his tee shirt and tossed it aside. 揑 know just the thing that抣l get you cheered up again, okay? Trust in Tommy to get you set right.?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Daria looked around. 揥on抰 someone come in??o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?揌ell, no, everyone knows to leave old Tommy Sherman alone when he抯 got company, you know that!?He hooked a finger into the top of Daria抯 orange T-shirt, under her green jacket, and pulled her closer. 揋et comfortable, Lucky Charm. Make Tommy Sherman a happy man, the way you know I like. Then I gotta run and meet the boys for some beers tonight, get tanked! Whew, I deserve a break after this day!?o:p>
牋牋牋牋牋?Making Tom happy was not what she
wanted to do, but he could be insistent, and at least it would take her mind
off the funeral. And maybe it would get Tommy Sherman closer to the day when he
said he loved her. It would be nice to have someone say that he loved her. No
one else ever had.
牋牋牋牋牋?揙kay, Tom,?said Daria. She was breaking her promise to Jane, but she hoped her friend would understand. She thought of the hymn the choir had sung in church. The lyrics went through her head as she undressed and Tommy reached for her. I once was lost, but now I抦 found. . . . I once was lost but now I抦 found. . . . I once was lost?o:p>
Original:
02/07/04, modified 10/28/04
FINIS